This article was published in the 22/23 edition of Vanity Fair in newsagents until June 7, 2002
Giulia she found out she was pregnant because her mother asked her why she had stopped asking for bandages for some time. Had Sixteen years and a girlfriend she was (and still is) very much in love with, Francesco. “That afternoon, my mother had already booked an appointment with me at the gynecologist, she imagined everything, I did not. In front of that doctor, I discovered that I had a small dot in my stomach. “. Giulia’s facial line is defined by her long black hair, her mere twenty years today are rediscovered in her eyes and smile. It is in the movement of her hands that her as a mother comes out with arrogance. Giulia was never in doubt about her pregnancy, she knew she would have given birth to that baby, even though everyone around her told her it would be a mistake. “We have never used precautions during intercourse. The only ones who wanted it from the beginning were always Francesco and I. Even though we knew nothing about how our lives would change. “After announcing to their families the choice to become parents, they took a period only for them and isolated themselves for a few days.
Those that were precious nine months for Giulia, who, when she remembers it, make her discover the depressions on her cheeks and lower her eyes, as if to look at her stomach, which is no longer there, in practice alternated with endless quarrels between the two families. As in a perfect love drama a la Romeo and Juliet with a bitter ending. In the delivery room, next to Giulia, was her mother. She was close to her, she recorded her nephew’s first scream in a video, it was her who cut the umbilical cord while Francesco, future father, was out waiting. But that moment of rediscovered family was not enough to restore the relationship. “The culmination of the discussions, almost always related to my story with Francesco, came the day my mother threw me out of the house with my two-month-old baby. We were followed by social services, and after a week I came in. here, in Mother’s House. ”She arrived there on the recommendation of the Juvenile Court, in a district far from the Rome she knew, almost centrally, far from her whole life as before. Monet and Picasso on the walls.Colored with a harmony that smells of stability, full of objects, drawings made by hand by the children who grew up here with their mothers, memories.A large house that with time (and a lots of care and determination) turns into a family.He repeats it Lucia Di Mauro, which he has posted here, including training courses for “his” girls, psychological help, toy rooms and sharing moments, much of his life. She has worked at the House since 1990 and became director five years ago, today she welcomes six mothers with their children. “I was just over 20 years old. It was a volunteer who told me about it and opened my eyes to a world I had never imagined: family homes, mothers of the same age without their parents’ protection, motherhood so connected with suffering, unloved children. For me it was unthinkable and I decided to do my “. A choice that has become an overwhelming passion for Lucia, and which led her to ensure that this place remains a point of reference for motherhood in Rome. “Both in the tailor shop and in the B&B – a social enterprise started precisely to give the young mothers guests the opportunity to grow and get a real preparation in the world of work – girls and young women who have spent a lifetime here continue to work. “with us. We also have the son of one of them, now a grown man, who works with us.”
But it takes time to reach a balance between the anger and fear that young mothers often experience when they enter Mother’s House. A road that lasts on average from six months to three years. “In the beginning, it was hard for me,” Giulia continues, checking on the phone how long her son Flavio will leave school. “I was not used to having to respect rules. I had always been able to do anything I wanted since I was a child. The first year I spent a lot of time in the room with my baby, with us there was always the reference operator who helped me in everything. I breastfed Flavio and we never left, it was a moment only ours“. Giulia did not want to go back to school, and as soon as the opportunity came, she started working.” I would have used the class schedule to hang around like I used to, and I preferred to learn a subject. “Today, Giulia , four years after his first day in the house, head of B&B.
In its many years of activity, Casa della Mamma has welcomed more than 500 very young girls with their children, acting as a guide for the new mother in acquiring self-awareness and their responsibilities. Those that scared Silvia, who got pregnant as a 13-year-old. “I did not want to grow up so suddenly, and for a moment I thought about terminating the pregnancy, but then I did not. Partly because I was already over the months and partly because I did not want to “. Today, Silvia is 18 years old and she is not scared when she says she came into the house because “I did not take care of my little girl. I had returned to school after the birth, and when I met my classmates, I felt a strong desire to return as them, free. So I started going out, going to the disco and not coming home at night. I left Eleonora with my parents, and I was almost never there for her. ” The social workers told her that if she continued like this, she would risk losing her baby and listening to the direct and concrete words Silvia grew up with. And he was scared. “As soon as I got in, I struggled for a long time with one part of me that wanted to stay small and the other that already felt like Eleonora’s mother, who is now 5 years old. Staying here also helped me a lot from a psychological point of view, it took me almost a year to create a real relationship with Eleonora ».
As we talk, we approach with Silvia and Giulia the school that both of their children attend. Silvia explains to us that today she will not be able to take her child to the park because she has to go home to study law. For her, there are only a few weeks left until the final exams, then she starts rehearsing inside the B&B, flanked by Giulia, who has to make sure to train her. University starts shortly after, perhaps educational science. “I no longer have a relationship with the child’s father, because Eleonora is a very important character, her grandparents, and we are fine like this”. When Eleonora comes out of school, she runs like lightning to hug her mother. She has a fuchsia elastic in her hair, which Silvia arranges so that she becomes a beautiful bulb. Flavio, on the other hand, wants to stay in her arms for a while, and Giulia hugs him hard to her. They walk towards the park, then they will go to the apartment where Giulia lives with another mother. They are almost ready to start life outside and follow the path to semi-autonomy. We return to Mother’s house with Silvia and Eleonora. “We have a bunk bed in our room. Ele lays down and asks me for the songs, only she chooses them,” Silvia smiles, narrowing her eyes to hide her embarrassment. “And then I think I’m singing From Martino Campanaro. “Eleonora hides behind a bicycle and suddenly comes out with a jump and a tiny flower between her fingers. “Mom, do we put it in the water when we get to our house?”
Baby mothers: the figures in Italy
According to the latest Istat data, mothers under 22 are registered in 2019 14,000, of which 1,089 aged within 17 years. With a percentage of 14.5 in both Campania and Lombardy, it reaches 15.9 percent in Sicily, according to data from the Accompaniment Service for Adolescent Parenthood, active in neuropsychiatry at Asst Santi Paolo e Carlo from Milan. Since the beginning of 2022, the service has already been welcomed 35 girls (minimum age 14 years) taking into account a minimum age for fathers of 13 years.
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